I am done being polite.

I couldn't give two flying....well I really don't care how people feel about things that are part of my life.  In the last week I have had beer poured on me ( I hope it really was accidental but a 6 foot wide spill seems unlikely.)  I have been put down for my taste in music, movies and writing.  But today gets the blue ribbon.

I am on OKCupid.  I thought maybe there would be someone who may want to get to know me.  I don't try and fool anyone.  I am very plain about who I am and where I am going.  This has been a put off for one person because they said I sound like I am high maintenance.  They are correct I am.  But I am also someone who many would like to be with, just I don't go for people whose idea of a date in McDonalds and Red Box.  Here is the first part of my profile. (pay attention to words because evidently ONE tripped a switch)

I am just exploring and seeing who is out there. I lean toward females but the right guy may work. I am not limiting myself at this time. Men, however, you have a larger hill to climb because I am a Princess and I expect to be treated like one. I enjoy the perks of being a woman. Women- know that I am transitioning and thus, I will be physically female soon. I am very happy with who I am. I have accepted who I am. No I won't fit most social mores. So anyone who is interested must be interested in the person, not the parts. I am a transsexual Male-to- female.

Do you see the word?  I take care to not say I am transitioning into a female. I say I am becoming a woman...However in the medical world I am described as a "Male to Female Transsexual".  Common terminology.  And after surgery I will have female anatomy...

But today a woman sent me this message:
"You will never be a female, know that, I am female. Call yourself something else, it's offensive to me to have a man say and think he's my gender!!!! Your DNA will always be male!!!!!! It's your psych issues"

I had no contact with this person in any form before.  She messaged me.  But that one word, that one word that is part of a medical diagnosis....evidently got her panties, not only in a bunch but shoved them as deep as they could go.

(Note, the last paragraph of my profile says "You should message me if: you want to know more, you are not rude and you are patient. I am in no rush to get anywhere, I like being free. If you understand or want to understand the diversity that is the TG community, that we are not what you see on the media"  Definition of rude would be...?)

I replied:
"You may be XX but there is another word for what you are. You don't know my genotype. You are rude. I find that offensive. Your opinion is not supported by medical knowledge. It isn't a psych issue. I don't really know why you thought in any manner I care what offends you anyway"
 I assumed the end but....not she was going to give her full wrath.

Her reply:
"Oh shut up freak!!!!!!!! You are not a woman period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I didn't respond....so she sent this "I am a medical person with many degrees. Anomalies are rare not this twisted agenda. You men need psych help not surgery!!!!!! You will never ever be a woman!!!!!! You are a fake not part of are clan ,so do whatever but call yourself something else like heshe! I'm offended by you guys.!!!!!! Gourami is being what you we're born with! Embrace that!!!!!!!!!"-  I didn't respond again. "
I'm real. You're fake, have a baby, have periods!!!! Man!!!"

OK time to pick this apart and examine the whole thing.

Exclamation points...more than 4 shows a strong emotional side but not well educated.  Anger issues are likely.

She is a medical person...yet she doesn't say in what manner...doctor, nurse, researcher....Fly by night new age voodoo enchantress....nope can't be any of those because they understand transgender.  She's in New Mexico...so marijuana or peyote grower?  Nope, they don't get pissed about how someone else is.  But she has "many" degrees. She says she works in critical care.  Honestly?   But it does show that Book larnin don't make ya smart. 

She is part of the "clan" (that's how she spelled it...not with a 'K'). So I am guessing radical feminist.  Now I had to see why she said "Gourami"  No idea actually, they're fish I know that much but I thought..."Hmmm maybe they change sex..."  Can't find that anywhere...Gourami is being what you are born with. This is coming from a medical person with many degrees who works in critical care...so she wouldn't correct birth defects?  She wouldn't allow any medicine or surgery to treat anything you are born with?

All that aside.  She is just ignorant (and that scares the hell out of me if I ever need critical care in New Mexico).  Here is where her claim to being medical falls apart as a lie or just plain stupid.

"I'm real. You're fake, have a baby, have periods!!!! Man!!!" So any woman who either cannot or decides to NOT have a child isn't a woman?  Any woman past menopause isn't a woman?  Any woman who has had a hysterectomy isn't a woman?  Her definition of a female and/or a woman is based on the ability to breed or to have menses. 

She's 53 has 4 children...I assume that if she already isn't menopausal she will be soon, then she will be a...?

I don't know why she is fearful of me...I didn't meet any of her criteria.  My profile actually says "M" because I made it three years ago.  If I hadn't mentioned being trans and had the "F" marker, I wonder if she would be scared of me?  She should because her profile photo shows a person with a square jaw, man's hair cut.  She could easily be mistaken as a trans.

I was going to reply to her ignorant idea of having to breed or bleed to be a woman, but then maybe I should lets sleeping BITCHES lie.

A lot of what is considered "bravery" in everyday life is the result of desperation and exhaustion.  What people see as being brave usually isn't that at all.  In fact it could be a last act.

I was sitting at a stop light today, 4 lanes and a turn lane in each direction.  The car next to me did a little beep when the left turn light came on (and BTW are we so stupid that we now have to have flashing yellow arrows to tell people to NOT turn across oncoming traffic?".  At first I looked to see who was so impatient and the guy in te red car next to me was leaning forward over his steering wheel.  I though "Maybe the car died"  But he kept leaning forward and back and he looked concerned.  I looked at the back of the SUV ahead of him, thinking there was something wrong with it but I didn't see anything.  The car on my left, who had the green arrow didn't move, nor did the car across from him. 

Then I saw it, a little prairie dog running as hard as it could across the road.  Everyone on my side saw it and stopped.  the turn lane and the inside straight lane opposite didn't move.  The outside lanes across all started to go.  The first car in the second lane stopped short (the guy behind them didn't hit them thankfully) but teh two outside lanes drove through.  I watched in horror that the little guy ws going to be roadkill.  I hate seeing animals die.  The prairie dog stopped a little then started again, running under the first car.  I was sure the outside car would get him but we al watched as he emerged on the opposite side. (I went through that intersection later, He must not have tried to get back).

Was he (or she I don't really know, prairie dogs don't wear name tags) brave...or stupid?  I think he (let's stay with that) was tired of waiting where there wasn't any food.  So he went.  Is there a difference between brave and stupid?  The end result usually.

Did Rosa Parks decide she was going to be an icon for the civil rights movement?  No, if you read what she said was-her feet were tired.  She saw a stupid rule and consequence seemed less severe so she sat down.  Brave, yes, but she didn't plan on being brave.  Soldiers do things because they are tired of being pinned down or they see no other way out.  Very brave butnot what most plan on doing.

I hear Caitlyn Jenning is brave.  I hear that about me.  I appreciate it and I am sure she does too but we don't transition to show how strong we are.  We do it because we are tired, and desperate to quit hiding or pretending. We weave through traffic, dodging tires and hoping we get to the other side without getting smashed.  Some still call that stupid. That we should be happy the way we were.  Not crossing the street would have been stupid for me.  It wasn't bravery but necessity.

Caitlyn is causing discussions.  I will admit her bravery was going public when she could have done this all on the sly.   But we knew her bravery in 1976, she was a strong woman but we didn't know it then.  To me that makes that gold even bigger now.  So many of us hide and wait and hope it will go away.  Wondering why we don't understand how the rest of the world is.

I will accept your compliment and feeling I am brave...mostly my feet just hurt and I needed to get to the other  side of the street.