Whole new experience

For years I was in the entitled group.  I never even thought about going into a mainstream place.  I just went..
But now, I am from a different place.  I am the alien in the world.  And it isn't just being a woman.  That is a whole world unto it self.   No I am blatantly trans.

Now people stumble over themselves trying to be "PC". 

"Come to my business.  We accept anybody."

I am sure they meant no harm, after all, you should accept "anybody" right?  But just the fact you have to make that point says a lot. It may be subconscious but it says "You are different and I know it".

And I am, I know this.  The trans community is .05% of  the world.  Only about 7% of all people in the US know a transperson.   That means (I am going to do math so stand back) 93% of the country has never met a transperson that they know of.   Of course some have met TGs but didn't realize it.  But the truth is that the vast majority of people, regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, religion, color, have no idea who we are.

So, as with every minority ever, you start placing caveats.  "I'm not racist, the man down the street is black and he is very nice, I think."  "I know a Jewish person, Jesus was one you know." or "My brother's best friend is gay."  It isn't conscious, but it is prejudice.

So tonight I was invited to a business.  The owner was very nice but you could tell he wasn't comfortable around me.  "Come on down, we accept everybody".  It should go without saying.  If I was a white middle aged male he would have said "Come on down, we'd be glad to see you."  Even if I were a genetic woman, there wouldn't have been a caveat...OK maybe one "and bring your husband." 

I hope that someday soon, there won't be addendums or exclusions or caveats on those kind of statements.  But I understand this was just  because he didn't really "know" anyone in my community.  Thus the we accept everybody.  Shouldn't this go without saying?  After all if you accept "everybody" you shouldn't have to tell them that.

Earlier in the evening I was at a professional seminar.  A woman was very nice and recognized me...actually by name.  "Lorileah...right?"  I like the fact she remembered me but did she remember me because I was the only trans there?  I would like to think not.  That she was very good with names, something I am awful with, sometimes I even forget my own cat's names.  But then, I am sure that I made an impression on her mostly because I am trans.  Good?  Bad?  Hey, at least now they recognize me.  For 50 years before they didn't have a clue