Bread and circuses

Usually associated with a government plan that is to keep the citizens happy while they do something to increase their own wealth. 

Caveat before I get too deep here, I did not see the interview.  I have not read any reviews on it.  And I have a preset opinion based on the last few years,

Last night, Bruce Jenner, the 1976 Decathlon Olympic champion, the poster child for how a man could be strong, agile, physically powerful, and fast all at the same time, “came out”.  At least confirmed rumors of his gender identity.  For this I applaud him.  Bravo Mister Jenner (NB he evidently still wants to be addressed as a male).  It takes guts, especially in the public eye to put yourself out there for all to see.  In this case with something 90% of the US population either doesn’t understand at all or has very bad opinions of what it is.  Brava.  From what I understand you held your own.

I will either read the transcript or watch reruns of this because this isn’t going away.  20/20 even did it in a non-sweeps month.  Amazing, no?

But here a some things that do (did) bother me.

He lied.  Now I am not one who is pure and chaste.  I know there are places where falsehoods or deflections are better than the truth.  But, at least in the transgender community, this was a slam dunk.  We…knew.  Sure it was discussed on occasion.  Will he?  Won’t he? But for the most part we left it alone. It was his life.

However he didn’t help by lying about it.  I do understand why he did.  Many many of “us” have.  We almost all start with a lie.  After all, being trans is a pariah.  A pox upon us.  We are conditioned and told to be one thing while our minds and bodies tell us another. Like Mr Jenner, we do things to show how manly we are.  It is not an unusual path.  A lot of crossdressers and a significant number of transsexuals hold this in their whole life.

This is where I had hoped that Mr Jenner would have been more forth coming earlier.  He helped perpetuate the idea that we should be ashamed of who we are.  That we somehow should not let the world know who we are.  That we are…bad.  If we believe that in ourselves, how can we make others understand?  To be fair, we don’t totally understand but we can learn if we get over the “fact” that ‘we just ain’t right in the head.’ (NB...yes that was sarcasm)

His private life is just that.  Private.  Well until his ex-wife, children and step children make it not private.  He was in a fish bowl.  Having lived with my secret for years, I can imagine how he must have felt and then I can't.  It’s like being in a trap or maze.  And every time you make a wrong turn you get rewarded.  Pretend to be a “man” here’s sex.  Act macho, here’s friends.  Who wants to give up those two things?  But this was obvious.  Michael Jackson obvious.  Bill Clinton obvious. And lying about it doesn’t help.  It fuels the fire and reinforces what people “know”.  In this case, we are liars and sneaks because we are breaking rules and don’t want to get in trouble. Like getting caught with your hand in a cookie jar...of cookies you bought.   I will never know what he stood to lose if he had ‘fessed up two or three years ago.

For many of “us” it was acceptance from those we love.  Wives, children, parents.  Was that why he deflected it?  He says he had admitted his GID to his two wives   He also explains it caused a split in one marriage (I don’t think it is the GID alone in most cases, usually there are other reason(s) on both sides of that equation).  Kids, I get too.  You want your children to see you as an icon. A hero. My opinion, coming out to his adult children who were busy making a mockery of themselves on national television would not have demeaned the family any more.  Parents?  I have no idea how his parents were.  My guess would be his father was a man who wanted strong sons over caring sons. After all he was an Olympic Champion.  But I don’t know.

It wasn’t money (that is a huge assumption on my part because “rich” people are often broke).  It wasn’t that he would lose a job (I have no idea what his job was…or is.  Is he still endorsing things?  I mean besides Kim and Khloe). Love?  His wife knew already.  Maybe sex?  I dunno.

But he finally came out.  Broke the news that everyone already “knew”.  Was that better than all of a sudden?  Again, I dunno.

But it is done.  The cat is out of the bag and the toothpaste is all over the sink.  So I ask:

1)      was this a positive move for Mr. Jenner and the TG community in general?

2)      Will this in some way help “us” move into mainstream life now?

3)      Will he be a role model.  A spokesperson now.  Or will he, because of the circus his extended family has provided to the zombie television world they call “reality”, be seen as a PR stunt.  Something to increase ratings or to bolster his own ratings because he wants or needs the spotlight?

4)      Did you (especially the non-TG people) learn anything that made our community less of a stigma?

Is this a new point for the transcommunity.  One where we made some inroads to allowing us to be the productive members of your society we already know we are?

Please comment.  Positive, negative…indifferent.  I know what I think and I have lived that mindset now for three years.  So, technically I lied too.  Yes I lied about me to the world for 55 years. 

Yes I lost friends.  I didn’t lose the loves of my life from being TS.  I lost my business in a way.  I still see the looks and still get the comments and misnomers.  They still hurt but I am learning to live with them, All my true friends are walking with me now.  All those who could not, are walking another path that I don’t see.  I still have a few people I would really like to understand who I am, but they won’t. 

But I gained far more.  I am happy with me now. I now see a full life.  Yes there are a few things I would like to change.  I would like someone to be there with me forever; someone who wants to be with ME.  I would love that the healthcare world, both medical and insurance, would see that we are just like everyone else and cover our transitions the same as they cover other medical issues. (I would actually love that no one in the United States had to even worry about medical care but that is another issue).  I don’t expect people to change their minds quickly.  In fact I expect "the 90%" won’t change at all over this.  Why?

Because it was handled as “Bread and Circuses”