I am not talking about the friends of LGBT (especially the T) people who have been by our side ofr years. The ones who were there when we weren't "popular". The ones who were just as appalled at movies that showed the Trans community as clowns and perverts or mentally deranged. The friends who walked out of Silence of the Lambs angry at the choice of villain as we were. The ones who watched A Soldier's Girl with us and empathized.
Like I said I am conflicted now. Although still not accepted as I am by most of society, I am finding a strange new conversation breaker. The old cocktail line was "I have a friend who is like you." Now it is "Did you SEE ____________ last night?" Good or bad? I want so deeply to say good. Maybe like how the Afro-American community felt watching Blacksploitation movies in the 70's? Knowing that Carl Weathers, Pam Greer and Ron O'neal didn't represent the whole community. Yet, that's what we saw. Violent, hyper sexualized, criminal or, if they were a police officer, breaking all the rules. I didn't know anyone who fit that mold but within months the clothing and the walk and the "lingo" were de rigueur.
Are we, as transpersons, now in that setting? With all the new movies and television, are they showing us in the right light or more reinforcing stereotypes? Jeffery Tambor won an award for Transparent. I admit I watched and was impressed they didn't make him a supermodel (or hire one). He portrayed the angst and issues many of us have. Then the train went down a different track, focusing less on the transition and the transperson per se, but now the dysfunction of the children. Which could be interpreted as "Dad's changing sexes and were f'd up and it's because our home life was shit.". At least he was a real person. But that led to comments like "you would think they could have found someone prettier" and "He looks like a man in a dress". Sorry but that is real life. I wish I could be prettier and sexier and have the body of a SI swimsuit model. I know a lot of people who wish that, and they all aren't trans. we have to live with what we have and that's usually from 40-50-60 years of living a lie. Somethings we just cannot change after a certain age. It is hard to get people to see us in a new light, UN-learn as they say.
Now, though, there are so many shows and movies who do incorporate "us" into the plot. (and happily many are using either trans actors or a the very least the correct pre-tx gender not a genetic woman playing a transwoman or a man playing a transman). I can't help but wonder if we are confusing the general public though. Shows like RuPaul show Drag Queens in the worst possible light. Is there enough balance brought by a show like Transparent to show that we are not all overtly campy and catty entertainers? Before someone goes off the highwire here and says "No one will watch normal people", I agree. No one wants to see me get up in the morning, feed the cats, have coffee and then stare at a computer screen for hours. There may be an audience for watching a trans-veterinarian but my skill set wouldn't entertain for long "Oh hi, your dog is puking...try this" "I am so happy to see fluffy in for her spay". Maybe if I had been out when ER Vets was showing and they could have slipped me in an episode...
The new series (see link below) follows real people. It should be interesting...if you have the cable channel that is buried deeply in your package.
new girls of the block
So, are we the Baskin-Robbins flavor of the week? Or is this our time to break through into society and be accepted as who we are? I hope it is the latter. When I can walk into any store or restaurant, or yes, even my favorite bar and only attract attention because of my style or my smile or my singing. (yes that was a not so subtle dig at the man who addressed me as "Him" twice the other night. You can call me Lori, you can call me Lorileah, you can call me miss, or ma'am. You can refer to me as she or her. I will even let a slip go on the old gender, but intentionally calling me him because you don't like what I am...) Then maybe the next step will be where the Trans community can get and keep jobs, can serve their country, can live as the productive citizens they are. It worked so well because of Christy Love and Shaft movies...
A little off topic here but I am also experiencing the "You all look alike to me" and the "Well you MUST know________" syndromes. I get mistaken frequently for other Transwomen (some TS most not) and while I may find it flattering they at least KNOW another Trans,I don't look like most of them (assuming I know them at all which addresses the other point). We don't have a secret club or church or meeting place where we all go. The other day at a golf course (and to be totally fair, the two people in the pro-shop were very respectful and kind) and was looking at the sale rack after buying my range pass (ok you can wake up the description of all this is over). The woman pro was talking and probably for the first time in my life I wasn't eavesdropping, when I heard "Do you know______" I didn't hear the name and I assumed she was talking to her co-worker. Then she said it again "Excuse me, do you know Daphne?" I looked up and said "Are you asking me?" She said she was and repeated the name again. I said I didn't know her. She replied "Oh thought you might since you two are the same." I hope she meant great style and absolutely marvelous golfer...:
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