Busy weekend.  I love the hustle and bustle.  It makes life exciting.  One more appearance for "Everything goes" the annual Mile High Players show.  It conflicted with my Cabaret (tonight 9-12 at the Crown Social 1446 S Broadway) so I will have to do my song and head out to set up.  May stay home tomorrow and rest up (I would say clean house but that ain't gonna happen).

This is my new life.  I love my new life.  It is what I should have been, who I really am.  I know it could all come crashing down tomorrow.  That is sort of the impetus for moving ahead at the speed I am.  Nothing in this world is guaranteed.

I am very lucky to have angels on my shoulder for all this and I do appreciate the good intentions they have.  Sometimes, OK frequently, I need a beacon to show me the way.  But other times, I need, no want, to go my way.  It is who I always have been.

So that said, I want to state, I am growing, I am learning and I want to experience things.  I know what I am doing usually.  I know what I am wearing and I know how my makeup looks and I know how I act.  I may appear naive but really I am not.

Back to the weekend and the performances.  I am wearing two rather riske' dresses.  These dresses are not what I would wear to the grocery store or to my other work as a vet.  They are sort of a uniform for the performer.  They do reflect how I see me and right now they look pretty good on me (except the baby bump).  My character in the AGIF show is shall we say seductive.  So that is how I look.  

Not what you would wear to church.  But it is something many women would or did wear when they were in my stage of "development".  Some seem to forget prom, or the wedding, or even that date when yo really wanted to impress someone...like the BMOC who finally asked you out, where they wore gowns that they would  not wear everyday.  The "Princess" syndrome.  In my opinion, I could wear this dress to certain cocktail parties.  At the Rockies game, I would probably get on thejumbotron...and I would not like that attention, but I do like the attention I get when I wear this in my entertainment atmosphere. 

Yes I realize I am showing cleavage.  I know and I was very cognizant to make sure it was covered within the limits of the event.  But now I have to ask...why?  Why, now that I am transitioning, are my breasts (boobs, tits...whatever) a cause for concern when 3 years ago I could have wandered around town...even the Rockies games, without a shirt?  My modesty leads me to cover them up in most cases.  I did before even, not feeling anyone would care to see me topless. Why are the same breasts I had 5 years ago, now suddenly taboo?  A case I have mentioned elsewhere.  I was going to a golf course just to buy a range pass, but I dressed appropriately for a woman in that context.  A skort and a polo shirt.  I am not that well developed so I started with just a cami under the shirt.  When I looked I thought it showed more than I wanted to on a public golf course.  So I put on a bra.  At the course there were two men, over 50 , who were waiting to pay their greens fees.  Men, nicely dressed, very nice, good looking, obviously professional...males.  Both were wearing polo shirts.  Both had obvious breast growth and very obvious ...um... nipples.  No one told them to hide themselves..  I don't know that I would have been sent away in my cami, but the point is they were "allowed". No one confronted them or questioned their lack of propriety.

The dress above has been criticized (OK the wearer has been criticized) for exposing too much.  It was a minority but it made me think...these women 30-40 years ago would have worn this dress on a date, or party.  I am not much for the saying "Age appropriate" but if you use that, I am 20 years old.  I am going through what women in the US have gone through at the age of 16-24.

The same camp says I wear too much makeup.  First, again, I am a performer.  Lights and such wash out features.  So we over do the makeup.  Every actor does.  Second, the venues I am at are social party places.  Where men and women want to present better than that Sunday at 6:30 AM look.  Remember---16-24, how at that age looking your best was important to attract a potential mate (OK sort of stretching there since a mate for me is not on the horizon) but who knows?  Miss or Mister Right may wander in at anytime. 

Just realize that I have different looks for different situations.  While I may stop at the store after being out in a dress similar (OK less exposing) to this, it is a special occasion.  I have legs that most people like to see.  I have eyes that most like to see.  I now have boobs...

My working as a vet look......

Not the same as my

"Princess"  look

Will post photos of the "OTHER" dress later...